Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
