Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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