just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
