I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
