I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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