What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
