I wanna passion pit in your ass
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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