God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
