he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
