mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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