Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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