Buhtt sex?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
