I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
