We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
