just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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