Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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