He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Randomize
