Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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