In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
