i just wanna soil my oats bro
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
