Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
My pussy is not your playground.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
