is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
