She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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