spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
