So drunk its hurt
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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