ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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