god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
