I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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