sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
