Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
