He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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