She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
