I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
