I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
