My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
