Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Couch. On fire.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
