But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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