We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
