Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
