If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
