on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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