He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
