worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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