All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
