Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Ketchup is God's man juice
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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