you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
