No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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