No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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