Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
