Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
