Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
